Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
