I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
