if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
