I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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