remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
