I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
