in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
