Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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