I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
