I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
