Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
