I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
