so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
