he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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