Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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