It's Friday. Sex?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
