We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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