I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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