apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
