And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He? As in you personified your dick?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
