I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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