I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
