I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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