I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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