There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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