i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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