I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
