Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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