Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so let's talk penis.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
