Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize