you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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