nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
