this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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