TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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