All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
