you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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