Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
