Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
