he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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