yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
