Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
sex in a hospital.. check
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
