Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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