god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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