wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
