my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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