So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
