The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
