He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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