Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
