I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize