I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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