with your own penis?
I wanna bring you to show and tell
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
