I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize