We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
