I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
