Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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