Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
