Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
