I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
